Love is Blindness A Harmony Fanfic
by Slytherin-ForestGirl
Summary: Harry and Hermione spend all year looking for what they really need, when it was in front of their eyes the entire time.
1. Empty

(5th year at Hogwarts)

I barely noticed how empty the Library was today, as I settled down in a seat next to a window. The leaves surrounded the trunks of empty trees that seemed cold and shaken.

"This year has started off strange." I thought. We were only a month into a new school year, and I had started to feel a strange sort of emptiness building inside of me. I took a look around the eerie library, the only people other than I were a Hufflepuff boy and Ravenclaw sitting at a desk together, holding hands. "How sweet." The emptiness was building up once more.

I buried my self into the book about Ancient Ruins, wondering how it would feel if someone else would be here studying with me. But I was Hermione Granger, a smart and independent young woman, I didn't need others to help me accomplish what I wanted to. I stormed out of the library, after hours of detailed hard work.

"Oi, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed as soon as I set foot into the Common Room, "Could you help me with my Potion's Assignment, it's due tomorrow and I didn't get started!"

I sighed, "I was in the library all this time, getting my work done, why couldn't you have come and asked me for help then?"

"How was I supposed to know you were in the Library?" Ron asked.

"Where else would Hermione be?" Harry almost laughed.

I looked over at Harry, who was sitting on a window-sill, not even looking over when he said that.

"I'm not always in the library!"

"Please 'Mione?" Ron smiled.

"Fine, but I'm just helping!" I sighed, "Honestly, you'd think a 5th year would be able to do a simple Potion's assignment! Look at Harry! At least he's trying!"

"Actually, 'Mione," He mocked Ron, "I didn't get started either."

"Oh, I give up!"

Helping Ron with his Potion's assignment was truly a drag, and all Harry seemed to do was stare out the window.

"Harry, er, what are you looking at?" I asked curiously after helping Ron a bit.

He realized I was there, and then sort of twitched, "Uh, er, you know, the sky is nice this time, of day. But that reminds me, I gotta go finish that Potion's assignment, thanks Hermione!" He patted my shoulder then ran up to the boy's dormitories.

"What a spaz!" Ron laughed on the floor.

I sat in the same position Harry was on the window-sill.

"I dunno what's so good about this, view, all I can see it the Ravenclaw Tower…."

It hit me then, who was that girl Harry asked to the Yule Ball last year?

"Ravenclaw tower, eh?" Ron asked still looking at his assignment, "Must be because that one girl, what was her name? Eh, 'Mione?"

"I dunno, I'm trying to think of it…."

"Eh, not a big deal, I'll ask Harry later," He yawned, "But what's the purpose of a Bezoar?"

"Your still not finished with the assignment? Give it here!"

Ron smiled as he watched me as I finished his homework.

"I dunno what I would do without you!"


	2. Time to Realize

I suddenly couldn't sleep anymore. This was strange though, I had stayed up all night trying to help Ron finish all of his work. How lazy he was. I wonder if he asked Harry the name of the girl. This thought had been eating me alive, not that I didn't know who Harry liked, but that I forgot her name.

The common room was empty by time I had gotten down, and I had to wait about twenty minutes until a sleepy Ginny made her way down the stairs.

"Merlin's Beard, Hermione!" She yawned, "Always ahead of the crowd!"

I glanced at my wrist-watch, "its only six- o-clock, my first class starts at eight, might as well get ready!"

Ginny walked to an arm chair, when she stepped on a piece of parchment, she examined it.

"This must be Ron's!" She laughed as she held it up for me to see.

I sighed, "I had to stay up all night just to help him on that." I felt a smile spread on my face, "Tell your brother to start working harder; I'm sick of doing all his work for him." We laughed.

"Hey, that's Ron for you, nothing you can do about it." Ginny put the paper back where she found it.

Fred and George then came storming down the stairs "I'm telling you Freddie, we have to-" he stopped when he saw us, "Ah, I see Hermy and Ginny beat us to the Common Room."

Fred sighed, "So much for a private place to talk of our plans," he looked around, "Oh well this will have to do."

They moved to a corner and discussed what seemed to be confidential information.

It seemed like another hour, until Harry and Ron finally slipped down the stairs.

"Morning, Ginny, 'Mione." Ron smiled.

"Good Morning, Ron."

As soon as the majority of the Gryffindors were in the common room, we went to the Great Hall, just to get something to eat before leaving for Potions.

I sat down between Ron and Ginny.

"Hey," Ron whispered, "I asked Harry who it was."

"What?" I tried to shout as I whispered ,"You asked who he was trying to look at?"

"No, no, no, I just asked who the girl was."

"Oh," I looked to where Harry was sitting, next to Dean and Ginny, "Who?"

"Cho. Cho Chang."

I suddenly remembered who it was, "Oh yeah, Cho, I remember now!"

Time passed, and now Harry, Ron and I were quickly walking to Potions.

"Harry?" I asked him, "Do you have your assignments finished?"

"Yes, I do." And that was all.

"Mhm, okay." I almost whispered.

The dungeons almost seemed dark; something to them just seemed different.

"Today I want you to…" Professor Snape's voice trailed off.

I noticed I was sitting next to Ron, where was Harry? Next to Neville, oh, right.

"You will take the Billywig Sting Slime, and carefully…"

The lesson was a bore; I have known this since my 2nd year and have perfected this potion in my 3rd.

"Alright begin!"

Ron turned to me, "Wait, what did he say? Hermione, I wasn't listening!"

I quickly rushed up and got the correct ingredients that I would need. Then rushed back to the cauldron where a worried Ron, stood waiting.

"Is that all we need?" He asked.

"Yes, Ron, this is all we need."

"Is that dandelion root?" Ron asked again.

"Yes it is, do you mind cutting it for me?"

"Not at all"

In minutes, the potion was complete, and I carefully poured the hot mixture into a flask.

"Well done, Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley." Snape said dryly.

Ron beamed at the sound of our names said together.

"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, the way this is unfolding." A smirking Draco said a few feet away.

"Shut up, Malfoy," Harry came out of nowhere, "like you know anything about relationships."

"You make me so scared, Potter, really." He walked away.

Harry gave me a weird look as he went to turn in his flask.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review, I really appreciate any type of feed back, the next chapter will be longer for sure!


	3. The New Teacher

Everyone was in the Great Hall, having fun and eating something before continuing for the second part of their classes. Where was I? In the library of course. According to all my friends, that was where I always spent my time.

Surprisingly, the library was quite full, one table was full of Hufflepuffs, another, had two Ravenclaws and a Gryffindor, there was a table with two Slytherins, then there was me, alone.

From my bag I took a book about Famous wizards of the 17th century, just for light reading. But my mind seemed to wander. I had to read that paragraph again; I didn't seem to pay attention the first time. But no, I didn't understand it the second time either.

I flipped the page, maybe it was just a boring topic. But I didn't seem to get anything from the next page either. I quickly slammed the book shut. What could be on my mind that would distract me from reading? Reading was supposed to distract me from everything else!

Then, so unexpectedly, Harry walks in. Alone. Just him, not with anyone else, not Ron, not anyone.

"Hullo Hermione, I knew you'd be in here." He had a straight face on.

"Oh, yes, I'm always here." I smiled, hoping he would cheer up.

"What are you doing here though?" He asked, concerned.

"To read, get homework done."

He almost laughed, "Hermione, your always working. Take a break, relax."

"Oh, I dunno, Harry, it's just in my blood, to do stuff like this." I signaled to my books and bag.

Harry looked around, and he suddenly stopped when he saw the table with some Ravenclaws.

"Everything alright, Harry?"

"Um, er, yeah, just looking around."

"You need to stop this, you are the worst liar, ever." I laughed, "Just admit you like her."

"Like who?" His face turned a bright red.

"You know, Cho.."

"Shhhh!" He was serious.

"Oh, I'm sorry. But hey, there's an open seat, go talk to her." I suggested.

"No, I mean, she isn't interested."

"Well, if she isn't she will be soon." I touched his arm, "Harry, really don't be insecure, you're a great guy, anyone in their right mind can realize that."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

And with that Harry walked up to the table where she was sitting, and engaged in conversation.

Hours passed and I was sitting in the Common Room, waiting for the others who decided they wanted to walk slow back from their last class that evening.

"What a hag!" Ron almost shouted as he came in.

"Are you to still upset about that detention Harry got?" I asked.

"Well, yeah!" Ron shouted again, "That old toad shouldn't even be teaching here, oh what I would do if I owned a sword…"

"Ron, I'm pretty sure you would only use a sword to butter your toast." Ginny laughed.

Harry looked confused, "I just don't understand what I did."

"It's alright, it's only one detention." I reassured.

"No, it's more that one," he said, "Well that's what she said."

"Don't worry, Harry, she's a new teacher, she doesn't know what she's doing."

"I sure hope your right, Hermione."

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review, and give any feed back!


	4. The Things He Will Do

(A month later)

I woke up with a start. Cold sweat stuck to my hot skin as I got up and looked into the mirror. What has become of me? The dark circles under my eyes seemed permanent. I dunno what has gotten into me. I feel empty, but not just that, alone. I looked at my watch and realized I was late. It was seven fifty-five and Transfiguration started in five minutes. Why anyone hadn't waked me up, I dunno.

Come on. Come on. COME ON. I splashed my face with water and put on my Gryffindor sweater, ran down the stairs, and through the halls. I had a head-ache, and cold air split on my tired skin as I ran to where I had to be.

"Miss Granger!" Professor McGonagall said sternly, "Not late enough for a detention, but I'll have to knock off 20 points from Gryffindor, now take a seat."

There was no open seat for me anywhere it seemed, Ron was next to Harry, Neville next to Dean, Seamus next to Lavender, so I ended up sitting next to a brunette Ravenclaw.

I zoned out the lesson. I wasn't like this, wasn't late to class. Nothing like this ever happened to me. I looked over to where Harry and Ron where sitting, hoping one of them would make eye contact with me. It took a few turns of my head to get Harry to realize me.

"W-h-a-t's—w-r-o-n-g?" He mouthed out.

I shook my head. He looked away.

What was going through his head? Cho, maybe? Maybe Ginny. Quidditch, for sure. Ron, maybe even me. Why was it hard to think that Harry would think about me? Maybe it was because we are just friends, and you don't always think about your friends that often. But then again I'm thinking about Harry right now.

Suddenly, everyone around me were chanting spells. Changing books into birds then the same birds into cats. It was easy. I knew this spell. It was simple, swish and flick. Done.

"Extremely good job, Miss Granger!" Mrs. McGonagall exclaimed, "10 points for Gryffindor!"

I felt some what relieved that I could make up some of the points that I deprived my house of earlier.

Nothing else in the class really seemed to matter, chanting spells, saying words.

I quickly found the door when class was dismissed and made sure I made it to DADA on time.

"Please open your text books chapter 13!" The toad looking lady screeched.

I heard Harry whispering something to Ron. Why would he do that? He already had weeks of detention, I felt like screaming at him to shut-his-bloody-mouth!

"Hem, hem!" She smiled but her eyes were filled with evil, "Is it just me, or do I hear Harry Potter begging me for more detentions?"

Harry just stared at her. He didn't look scared at all. That was so brave of him, sort of attractive…..

"Fine then, Potter" She spat, "three more weeks of detention."

Then he gave her a nasty look and just left the class. Just walked out. She looked shocked.

I couldn't help smiling. Good old Harry, doing things that he always would do.

The rest of the class I kept on thinking about what Harry might be doing. He was probably in the common room, but maybe, just maybe he was riding his firebolt. Racing through the Quidditch pitch, as the wind split his hair to one side, and his face was fierce, determined to get somewhere, reach some sort of height. Ready for anything…

"Dismissed." I ran out, not waiting for Ron. I wanted to know what Harry was doing, what made him just leave the class like that.

Harry was in the Common Room, talking to Fred and George who skipped class as well.

"Harry? What was that?" I bellowed.

"I, er, uh-" I guess he thought I was mad, because he made some sort of excuse.

"No, Harry, I thought that was the right thing to do. Good for you."

Ron finally came in, "Merlin's pants, thanks Hermione for waiting for me, I appreciate it." Then he turned to Harry, "Bloody Hell, Harry that was amazing, you should have seen the Hag's face!"

Harry smiled.


	5. Happy Thoughts

"You coming,'Mione?" Ron asked from the Common Room.

We were about to go to another D.A. session.

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm right here!" I ran down the stairs where Harry and Ron where waiting.

The walk to the Room of Requirements was awkward and quiet. I dunno if it was because Harry was excited to see Cho, or because some other reason.

But when we finally got there, it was totally worth it. A bunch of students willing to beat the system and learn what they really needed to know.

"Um, well today I will show…" Harry trailed off.

Harry was an extremely awkward public speaker, I honestly think it was because Cho was right there, or maybe it just wasn't his thing.

"Think of the happiest thought….."

What was my happiest thought? I looked at Ron, who was smiling like an idiot, obviously found his happiest thought. What was Harry's? Quidditch? His friends? Cho?

"Then say….."

Then everyone in the Room shouted "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

I thought about the night that my parent's gave me my expectance letter to Hogwarts, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" A wispy blue otter emerged and swam around the room.

Harry came around, "Good Job, Hermione." But he wasn't looking at me, he was looking at Cho.

"Hm." I sighed. "Thinking about her?" I asked as I watched my Patronus play around. Then it disappeared in mid-air, my happy thought was no longer there.

"Well, yeah," he looked around, "I dunno what to do."

"What's there to be afraid? You were so brave this morning, where did that go?" I ask him harshly.

"I dunno…"

He walked away.

"Hm."

My patronus wasn't coming back.

"What a day!" Ron yawned when we got back to the Common Room after the D.A. meeting.

Harry looked confused as he sat down on an arm-chair.

"What's wrong, mate?" Ron asked him.

"I'm just a bit tired." He got up, and then slowly walked up to the boy's dormitories.

"A bit?" Ron looked taken aback.

"Don't worry, Ron, Harry is just developing strong feelings….." I stopped.

"What now?"

It was hard to continue, I dunno why, "feelings for Cho, and he doesn't know what to do."

"I dunno why he even likes her," Ron starts, "what do you think?"

"Well, I honestly think Harry could do somewhat better, go for someone that notices him," I choked.

"Yeah, like Ginny." He looked around.

"I guess."

"You guess? Do you mean Ginny's not good enough for him?" Ron sat up straighter.

"No, Ron, I never said that I just dunno what else to say." I yawned, I was tired.

"Fine, I'm going to bed." He got up, and looked back, "Goodnight."

I stayed down in the Common Room until I was sure Ron was asleep, and then left for a sleep-less night.


	6. You don't know

That morning I made sure I woke up in time. Today was a Saturday, though. We would be going to Hogsmeade.

Getting dressed was a drag, not like I had any one to impress. It's not like I cared, or thought about that.

"Yeah, I dunno…." Harry said to Ginny. They were talking softly by the time I got down.

"Oh, well," Ginny looked rather uncomfortable, "its okay, Harry."

"Hermione, Good Morning." Harry welcomed me, when he realized I was there.

I sat down father down from Ginny, "Hello."

Ron came running down the stairs, "I gotta get out of there before Fred or George use their little candies on me!"

Fred and George came down shortly after, "Not like anything's gonna happen."

Ron sat down right next to me, not giving me any space to move, "Hey 'Mione."

I felt my self twitch a bit when he said that, what was it about him when he said that that made me so annoyed?

Was it that he thought it was cute?

Or maybe because he thought I thought it was cute.

Which I didn't.

It was annoying, and unnecessary.

The trip to Hogsmeade was extremely boring. Harry was talking to Ginny, and Ron just told me about how much he hates when Professor Snape takes ten minutes to finish one sentence. But Ron always found a place to add, "Hm, 'Mione?" Or I suppose you don't agree, eh, 'Mione?"

Shut it. Now, PLEASE.

Then I shifted my attention to Harry and Ginny. She seemed upset, because Dean was trailing along, and Harry wasn't paying attention.

"Hey, 'Mione?" Ron butted in.

"Mhm, what?"

But I never found out what he had to tell me, because we where at Hogsmeade, and Harry joined us, thankfully somehow bringing up a worthy subject to talk about.

"How do you think Sirius is doing?" He asked, looking concerned.

"Oh, well….." Ron trailed off.

Ron struggled to keep the conversation, because Harry seemed traumatized since we were walking behind Cho, and her friends.

"Eh, Harry?" Ron whispered?

He jumped into reality, "Oh, yeah your Chocolate Frog Card collection, nice to know, Ron."

"Uh, no, Harry, Ron was talking about Sirius, "I stated, "The subject that you, brought up, remember?"

"Oh, yeah!" Harry was still staring at Cho as she was walking and giggling.

I turned to him, "Why did you walk with us then?"

"What, I can't? Is that what you're saying?" He looked at me now.

"No, that's not what I'm saying, Harry." I looked at him sharply, "Just get your head out of the clouds, stop staring, do something!"

"No, you don't understand, Hermione."

I choked, "Of course I do."

"You don't know how it feels." Harry avoided eye contact.

"And why would you say that?" Something inside me told me to stop the conversation right there.

"I dunno, it's just, I'm going to talk to her…" He walked away.

"And about time…" I almost whispered.

"I guess it's only me and you then." Ron smiled.

"He's got to stop this."

"What, Cho?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, she's not worth it."

I watched how Harry desperately embarrassed himself in front of Cho and her friends, just to talk to her a bit.

"I guess your right."

I wish Harry was here, with us, with his friends. Who appreciated him, and didn't have to prove himself worthy.

"Well you know how Harry is with women….." Ron stopped.

"No, he's horrible with women" I almost shouted.

"Looks like he's doing pretty well to me," Ron signaled to where Harry was, holding hands with Cho.

My breathing increased sharply, what was he doing? She smiled, he smiled, they were happy. My face reddened, and my eyes stung. I felt like running in between them and breaking their hands apart. He shouldn't have to crawl all over the floor to get some attention.

"Well do you?" Ron asked.

"Huh? What?"

"I asked you a question…" Ron trailed off.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you."

"Are you all right?"

I dunno.

"Yes."


	7. Time to Stand Up

The strong smell of books filled my head as I rushed to my usual spot. I looked out the window, and then touched it. It was cold.

I felt empty again.

How come I always ran here when I felt like breaking down?

And why did I feel like breaking down?

My cheeks turned hot, and my eyes stung.

I pressed my face to the cold window and hoped it would somehow stop me from going crazy.

Maybe it was just a part of growing up.

Having weird feelings.

I left my bags and open books where they were and slowly walked into the tall and never-ending shelves of books.

I wasn't looking for anything specific.

I passed the Potions/Cauldron section, the Transfiguration section, and every other subject that I would ever really need.

I stumbled upon a part of the library that I have never been before. It was so small; of course I would miss it.

I found a book on the floor. It read: Settling Down with Your Special Wizard.

Silly book.

I passed it and left the section.

Every one was settling down, now weren't they?

Hmh. Well that's not me.

I don't need anyone, no one needed me either.

When I got back to my seat, some one was sitting there.

Who was it? Dark hair, dark sweater.

"Erm, Hello?" I said.

"Oh, sorry, I saw someone's bag, thought they could use some company." She said

My breathing stopped, it was Cho.

"Oh, really? How nice of you."

"Yes, I see you in here a lot, you seem lonely."

Oh, do I?

"I like to do my work alone, I guess." I smiled.

"Oh, well I can leave if you want me to…" She considered leaving.

Please do.

"No, please stay."

For about twenty minutes, we didn't talk, and that's how I liked it.

Something was in the back of my head, bothering me nagging me, not letting me finish my work.

"I need to go get a book, do you need anything?" I asked.

"Uh, no, thanks though!" She smiled.

I walked away, it seemed forever until I went to the section, I had only been once before.

I hope it was still there.

It was, and I rushed to it, as if someone would swoop down out of no where and take it.

In my hands I held a pink book labeled, "Settling Down with Your Special Wizard."

I took my time back.

But when I saw the table I was sitting at, I gasped.

"Oh hey, Hermione!" Harry had an awkward smile on his face.

Cho smiled, showing her white teeth.

"When did you get here?" He asked.

"Hours ago…"

"Oh, erm, didn't see you there then, "an awkward chuckle followed.

"Hm..."

"Oh! What book is that?" Cho squealed?

Merlin's Beard! I forgot to hide it.

"Uh,erm, I…."

Cho giggled.

"Is this because of Ron?" Harry laughed.

What the hell? Ron? About to punch Harry, I clenched the book.

My face must have shown my emotion, "Calm down, Hermione." Cho smiled.

"What? But, I'm not worked up!" I tried to find some excuse.

"It's okay Hermione, we're just playing around." Harry smiled.

Stupid Harry! Why couldn't he stand up for me, not trying to show off in front of Cho?

"Mhm, okay, well I'll be going now."

I snatched my bag, and the books I had laying on the desk, leaving "Settling Down with Your Special Wizard" behind.

Storming out of the library was hard, I wanted to turn back and tell Cho to leave me and my friends alone.

I thought Harry had better taste.

I thought he would want a smart, independent, young lady, who would be a good influence on him.

Cho made him look bad.

Made his friends turn against him.

I dunno why I thought he would stand up for me.

Because I'm just his friend, and he has to make sacrifices when he finds that special girl.

Aren't we more than that?

Aren't I closer than a friend?

A/N-Thanks for all the reviews! I enjoy writing these! Feedback is appreciated!


	8. Soft

The Common Room was dark. It was late and I should have gone to bed already but I wanted to wait until Harry came.

Was he still at the library?

He was with Cho.

What could they have been doing?

It was extremely cold, and there was no blanket, or anything.

Ginny walked down the stairs.

"You still up, Hermione?"

"Uh, mh, yeah just… yeah" I didn't want Ginny to get the wrong idea.

"Oh, are you waiting for someone?"

"No."

"Mh…"

She looked around, "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No, go ahead, sleep." I smiled, hoping she would go back upstairs.

"Alright, I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning." She smiled, and then left.

Harry was taking forever.

I looked at my watch, telling myself he would walk in soon, but he didn't come anytime soon.

It was eleven. Maybe he got caught somewhere.

Please, Harry just hurry up so I can get some sleep.

Why was I waiting for him?

Finally, he came in.

It was silent, and he just looked at me.

"Hermione, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I stopped, "and where have you been?"

He looked down, "detention."

His sleeve was abnormally covering his hand.

"I thought you would be with Cho…"

"No, "he sighed, "I left her after you left."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I had detention tonight."

"How did it go?" I asked.

"It was great, she really…." He started.

"I was talking about detention…."

"Oh, erm, yeah….." He turned red. "Detention was bad, but Cho and I….."

I sighed, "Yeah, I know, you and Cho are doing great….."

He moved to sit closer to me, his knees accidentally bumped into mine then he softly touched my arm.

"I'm sorry about what happened in the library, I just don't want Cho to….I dunno…it's weird."

My eyes examined Harry. He hid his right hand under his leg.

"I understand….."

He quickly lifted his right hand to scratch his head, and then quickly hid it again.

"What's wrong with your hand?" I asked.

"Nothing…."

I tried to get a hold of it, but he moved it. I tried again, and then he hid it again, again and again.

"Harry….." I breathed, "Let me see it!"

"No, its, er, nothing!"

With that I stood up in front of where he was sitting, making sure he wouldn't stand up.

"Let me see it," I demanded.

"Really, Hermione, it's just a scratch…"

Quickly he tried standing up, but I was faster, and pushed him back to his seat quite harshly.

"Please, Hermione, I'm tired."

He attempted to stand, and this time I let him, but quickly took a hold of his shoulders then pushed him to the wall behind.

"Oof.." His head hit the wall.

"Oh, sorry, Harry."

He sighed, "Come on…"

I reached for his arm, and once I got a hold of it, he tried struggling free.

With another harsh pound against the wall I quickly reached for his hand, with after a few attempts, I finally got a hold of it.

"Fine, take a look…" He pushed out his hand for me to see it better.

Both of my hands clutched his. I suddenly realized that I wasn't that cold anymore.

"What happened?"

"Umbridge made me write this a bunch of times on paper, and I guess…. I dunno..."

"I must not tell lies…" I read his hand. "What a hag!"

He laughed when he heard me say this.

"Calm down, Hermione…" He mocked Cho.

"Oh, shut it!" I playfully punched his shoulder with my right hand.

My left hand was intertwined with his right.

My hand wasn't cold; it was hot, almost sweaty.

I looked down at it.

So did he.

I guess I smiled then, because he looked at me with a confused look on his face.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

"Yeah, a bit."

"Oh."

So many things were going through my head. Like how soft his hands were. He looked like a boy who would have rough hands but….

I looked at his hand, then at him. Why did all this type of stuff happen to him? I wonder what Cho would do if she saw…..

Hm.

Then I did the unexpected.

I took his hand, slowly moved it up to my face, and without another word kissed it, softly, sweetly.

I heard his breathing increase. What was he thinking? What was I thinking?

My heart was beating fast.

I only did that because I care about him, like a sister.

That was my excuse.

I took a good at his hand, and then let it drop to the side.

Hm…

I suddenly turned around, sighed, and then walked up the stairs.


	9. These Tears

Sleep was hard to come by that night.

I've kissed Harry on the cheek before, how was this different?

It replayed in my mind over and over again.

What was he thinking about at the moment? He was probably asleep, like I should be.

But it doesn't matter; I care about him, like a sister….remember?

Hm, what if Cho found out? How would she react?

But does she really care about Harry? Of course not like I do…

But they held hands.

But so did we.

I looked at the clock on the wall, the moon light lit it up.

Two-fifty A.M.

Then it hit me, and it hit hard. What if I just didn't care about Harry?

What if I had a different type of feeling towards him?

With that thought in mind, I actually laughed.

I was laughing, but my eyes started to sting. My laughter turned to gasps for air, the air I needed so desperately while I was crying.

I just lay there, choking on air as tears fell down my face, down my neck and made my pillow wet.

Then I stopped.

It wasn't worth it, these were bad feelings to have.

If Harry even had feelings for me, it was as a friend or a sister.

Why can't I realize this?

But the tears came back quickly.

I cried because I knew I had no chance, these feelings had to stop.

But then, who knows how long I've held these feelings in?

I didn't know what to think.

Was it normal that every time he touches me, my heart races?

How would he act if I told him?

It took all I had to stop crying.

My pillow was soaked, and my energy was gone.

I don't cry about this type of stuff.

But here I was, my face tear stained, my body placed uncomfortably on a soft bed, my neck hairs standing up awkwardly on a wet, salty pillow.

This was the first night, I had spent like this.

A/N- Yeah, this one was short, but REVIEWS are appreciated! Thanks! C:


	10. False Hope

"And when you take you're…"

Potion's was a bore.

I couldn't stop thinking about what happened the night before, or how I reacted.

I tried to convince myself that I just felt like that because I didn't know what to think. Tried to convince myself it was because I cared, just cared, like a mother or sister.

And that Harry thought nothing of it, it wasn't anything at all.

That I was there for him, and Cho wasn't.

"Dismissed."

I rushed out of the dungeon and headed for the library while everyone was going to the Great Hall.

I hadn't talked to Harry all day. Why?

Hm.

No one was in the library at all.

Good.

Once I sat down in my usual spot, it hit me then. Awkward excitement burst inside of me and my stomach hurt a bit.

I got up, and actually ran to a section of the library that wasn't of my liking, really.

Finally no one was here to judge me or laugh or watch as I carefully looked for the book that I tried to smuggle out of the library.

Was I in the right spot?

Yes, of course I was, but where was the book?

I quickly became exhausted and tired of looking as I covered the whole section looking for the book.

What was it called now?

Settling Down with Your Special Wizard?

Yes, that was it.

But it wasn't there.

I sat down. I knew I should have taken it with me when I could.

Why should I care what Cho Chang thinks?

Or Harry.

But I did care.

Well about Harry, at least.

Mhm…

I wonder where he was.

In the Great Hall, probably.

What was he thinking?

Was he wondering where I was?

No, he would guess that I was in the library.

Maybe he would walk in, and ask me how I was, and kiss my hand, like I kissed his the night before.

This sparked hope.

I kept on looking at the entrance of the library.

Hoping he would walk in.

He would, he came to the library to see me before.

But that was when Cho was here, so he could stare or talk to her.

Why not me?

Was I not smart, or pretty enough?

I suddenly felt a bit jealous.

I closed my book quickly.

Why was I hiding in the library all day?

I quickly walked out of the library, and before my eyes started to sting I made it to the Great Hall.

Harry and Ron were laughing.

"Hey, 'Mione!" Ron waved a hand.

Stop calling me 'Mione.

We are not like that.

'Ronald."

Harry looked a bit shocked, but continued to laugh.

I shot him a look.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked as Harry laughed.

"Nothing at all." I glanced at Harry again, who was acting like he was drunk, "What's wrong with you too?"

"Ah, nothing, what is it wrong to laugh a bit?" Harry asked.

"Er, um, no..." He was acting like nothing happened. "Nothing," but again it was just a kiss on the hand.

"Just cracking joke," Ron smiled, "try it, 'Mione." He roughly touched my shoulder.

Harry had stopped laughing, but was still red and smiling.

No, no, no, no….why was it like this?

Ron trying to flirt, or make me happy.

But Harry…

Was I just one of those girl friends that a guy has that he treats like a guy, that he would never have an interest in.

I have feelings too…

I have problems, flaws…

I wasn't perfect…like Cho.

I smacked Ron's hand off, "No, I don't need to 'try cracking a joke' Ron," I took a breath and suddenly stood up, out of my seat. "And stop calling me 'Mione! I'm not your….your….puppy! Or girlfriend or whatever!"

I glanced at Harry. Who just stared at me, shocked.

Ron looked down.

I rushed out of the Great Hall.

I felt bad; I shouldn't have been so harsh on Ron.

But I had problems, and I was stressed, and he took life as a joke.

A bloody joke.


	11. Think About Me

I was sitting on the couch in the Common Room late that night when I heard a noise.

It was probably Ginny, or Ron.

Maybe they forgot something here.

How would I act if Ron came down?

Would I say sorry?

Or would I ignore him?

What about Ginny? Of course she would be upset about how I treated Ron.

Or maybe she felt the same way.

"Are you still down here?"

A familiar voice.

My heart beat quickly.

Harry.

"Er, uh…yeah," I stood up. "I was just about to leave."

"Sit down." He commanded.

I looked at him, he was serious.

But I didn't really want to sit down. What would he say?

"You really made Ron upset."

Hm, yeah, I knew that.

"Oh…" I almost whispered.

"Yeah, and I mean, sometimes yeah, I agree with you, he doesn't take it too seriously, but that's just his way of trying to….."

He stopped.

I stopped.

"Trying to forget…" he looked up when he said it.

"Trying to forget what?"

"I dunno, trying to forget who he really is…"

"Oh..." I knew this, though.

But I let Harry talk.

"It's hard, because he barely gets anything. And no one really pays attention to him, no one cares," he avoided eye contact. "And that's why I feel bad."

I felt like this was the time I should comfort him, maybe put a hand on his shoulder….anything.

But then I would get carried away.

"Why would you feel bad, Harry?"

"Because, I always get all the attention, and Ron just lives in the shadow of my success, I dunno…"

"That's not true…."

It wasn't true.

"And Hermione…." Harry looked right at me. Dead in the eyes. It's like he was reading all of my thoughts, "He really likes you, really cares…"

"I know…." I turned my head, I couldn't take it.

"And when you said that to him, he felt…."

"Felt what?"

"I dunno.."

I stood up.

"Harry, I know that Ron likes me, he couldn't have made it any clearer…"

He stood up as well, "How do you feel about him?"

I turned around, "I just….." It was hard to say. "It's just that…."

I want to be with you, Harry.

I hope he wasn't reading my thoughts.

It often feels like he does that.

"It's just that….." Tell him… "I don't want to feel like I am already set."

I heard his un-steady breathing behind me.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that everyone expects me to be with him, go out with him, Love him," I told my eyes not to start watering. "It's like I don't have a choice anymore…"

Harry tried to laugh, "That is how it seems…."

I quickly turned to face him.

Touching his hands I whispered, "But that's not how I want it to be…."

Harry looked scared. He looked down at our hands, and then looked into my eyes.

But this time he knew what I was thinking.

He let go of my hands.

This made me hurt, it was rejection in the bluntest form.

My hands felt cold as they fell to my side.

It was obvious that Harry didn't have any sort of feelings.

That what we were doing was wrong.

"How do you want it to be, Hermione?"

He folded his arms across his chest.

"I don't even know anymore."

"You have to consider Ron's feelings too, you know…"

"I know!" I almost screamed,"But don't you think I have problems too?" I took a deep breath. "But it never seems like anything is wrong with me! I just run to the library to do homework! HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT I FEEL?"

Harry closed his eyes as he listened to me scream.

I walked to the window and looked out to see the Ravenclaw tower.

So peaceful.

No girl inside, screaming.

To a boy, who couldn't realize.

How long have I felt like this?

How much longer would I have to keep it in?

Harry slowly started walking to where I was.

"Here…."

"What?" I asked.

"I took it with me…."

I looked at Harry who held a pink book called,"Settling Down with Your Special Wizard."

"I took it that one time that you left the library, a bit…"

He stopped.

I took it the book.

"A bit angry…"

I was shocked.

I stroked the spine of the book.

I felt my face redden as a smile emerged.

"You had it all this time?"

"Yeah…" He smiled too, "I mean, I knew you wanted it."

"Eh, well not really….."

He laughed, "Oh, come on…."

"Fine….I wanted to read it…"

He looked away.

"It's late."

And?

"Oh." I knew he was about to leave.

"I'm gonna go get some sleep…."

Eyes started to water.

"You coming, Hermione?" He looked back when he reached the stairs.

I just stood there looking at the book, "Hm…"

Please don't leave Harry….

"Come on…" He whispered.

I shook my head.

"You need to sleep…" He said a bit louder.

"Hm…"

"Please?"

"I'm fine."

But I wasn't.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He left.

Why didn't I go up with him?

I wanted him to stay, to come back down here and tell me that he would stay here forever with me.

If he, out of nowhere, came back down and asked me to come, I would.

But he didn't.


End file.
